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Although I'm an ENFP, and I enjoy to socialize during the day while I'm at work, I tend to only want to spend time with my boyfriend in the evening as opposed to chilling with lots of friends. I HATE talking on the phone and Facebook is totally a pain in the butt for me..in fact, I'm pretty much not using it these days. I have 2 close friends and don't really feel the need for more. Is this typical?? Everything I read seems to imply that we're the types with crowds of friends...sometimes I wish I had a large group of friends, but it would exhaust me to keep up all of the necessary things (visiting, phoning, etc.) on a regular basis to keep it strong. I'm borderline with "I", so perhaps that's just an introverted quality?
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Re: Is this a strange trait for a typical 'social' ENFP?
Thu, April 16, 2009 - 7:49 PMI'm an enfp and I'm totally this way !! I have a few close friends instead of alot of friends. Otherwise it's tooo draining. I read somewhere that enfps do need time alone to center themselves, moreso than the other extraverted types.
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Re: Is this a strange trait for a typical 'social' ENFP?
Thu, April 23, 2009 - 6:53 AMI prefer to have a few close friends rather than being around a bunch of people. The only time I like crowds is when I am the center of attention (in a good way). I do not have tons of friends because I find it challenging to find people that actually 'get' me.
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Re: Is this a strange trait for a typical 'social' ENFP?
Sun, April 26, 2009 - 7:26 AMHi Melissa! Wow! I am JUST the same way. I'm an ENFP to the core, but I guess I do have some "I" in me. But actually, in my study of the ENFP personality type, we are the only Extroverts that also need alone time to center ourselves and focus on our values and what is important. So ENFP's have an introverted side.
I also am social at work and with friends, but then in the evenings I just like to be alone with my husband. I only have two close friends that I hang out with, and I also HATE talking on the phone. I'm so protective of my personal time and I hate having appointments and people to see all the time because then it invades my personal time and I feel trapped by a schedule and I hate that!. So I find that I can only handle a few friends. I also get exhausted if I have too much on my plate and too many people to keep up with. I know myself so well now, I deliberately say "no" to most functions, outings with new people, and responsibilities. I know that I might get excited about them at first, but will get bored with them real soon and I'll feel trapped into it.
So I think you are a normal ENFP. You are just a bit more in touch with your introverted side and that is fine!
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Re: Is this a strange trait for a typical 'social' ENFP?
Sun, April 26, 2009 - 8:26 AMWe're an odd balance. A lot of us need socializing to charge our energies, and at other times need decompression time alone or with just our partner. It's pretty common for our type. Most of us seem to be either borderline "I" or borderline "T" and I think it's part of our nature to fluctuate from time to time between those traits. In the right mood, I'm the life of the party. Then the next day(or the next week) I may want a quiet weekend at home taking care of mundane everyday tasks or vegging out with my wife. We tend to absorb a lot of the energy of the folk we spend time with. I find when I spend a lot of time with introverted types, I need more alone time to recharge.
I say, as long as we're getting what we need and feel happy and productive and cared for, just go with it. I have a large group of friend-types, and a smaller core of serious, life-long friends that I've acquired over the course of many years. We seem to be influenced quite a bit by the company we keep, so I've been careful to stay connected with good influences, and to be an inspiration to them in positive ways. When I need my downtime, I've learned that it's ok to decline the party invitation. How can you have a positive affect on others if you're not taking care of yourself, too? -
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Re: Is this a strange trait for a typical 'social' ENFP?
Sat, August 15, 2009 - 8:45 AMHi everyone!! New to tribe, not very computer literate, but somehow got to this point! Hope I don't get bored and quit, if you enfp's know what I mean!! Anyhoo, not a strange trait at all. Find that we need time to dream, think or meditate. The only problem is if I stay without people too long I have way too much time thinking and start rationalizing my time away!! I dream of big plans and then realize it will take too mujch time and planning and give up. I'm so sick of not sticking with something and persevering, when times get tough. I've been without a job gave up my career to raise a family!! That seems to be the only thing I can stick with,my marriage of 20 years is stronger now then when we first began!! By the grace of God, my husband is always afraid that I'm going to get bored and leave him, because we like change toooooo much, but that is one thing I can say never gets boring is the life of a family!! Even as disfunctional as it can be at times !! I have logged on to the career choices for an enfp and have to crack up, we change so many times and don't know which way to go, so we finalloy end up doing something we hate for a little while and move on. I gave up my career as an interior designer which I loved for 15 years, then had a family tried so many other jobs just to be around people, florist, legal secretary, business entrepeneur (failed miserably), but they say, if we don't try how can we succeed? The only thing I have seemed to stick with is a youth volunteer at church!! Love this, the youth are so exciting and their lives are so full of possibilities, it is a priviledge just to be around them and teach!! Well, as you can see I've rambled enough, but the answer to your question, Is this a strange trait for a ENFP? No, but don't stay secluded too long, we can go into a depression if we don't go around people! Take it from a fellow ENFP!!
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Re: Is this a strange trait for a typical 'social' ENFP?
Mon, September 7, 2009 - 11:45 PMI hate the phone too. Which seems odd to some people perhaps since I can talk for hours [on the phone], but hearing my phone ring basically gives me cold sweats and anxiety. Especially a cell phone, since people expect you to carry your Blackberry and answer them immediately.
